Reality:
TA MAAA DE, JEEEEEEEEE DAN! it's so wrong.. i dont think we screwed up so bad to deserve this. but it can't be helped. we were unlucky. so fuckin' be it. it's ok. what can you do about it. i just feel real bad for huang lao shi cos he's done so much for us and stuck with us for so long. he must be the most upset now. and finally everyone loves him so much. can't let him leave. can't imagine co without him. but now we're all so bonded and we need to help each other get back on their feet. i wish it was just a scam. one that lasted too long. honestly, i enjoyed myself yesterday. it's quite a big blow that we didn't get what we expected. no one is at fault. though we can and shall just blame the judges. for everything. maybe they weren't in a good mood. who knew?

because of co, i had so many conflicts with my mum. a hell lot of shit went on. we all made a hell lot of sacrifices. they don't know it. or they do but they don't care. and i dont regret it. i really don't care if you don't.
and on the brighter, ironic side, now have all three. Pri 4: Bronze, Pri 6: Gold, Now: Silver.. good collection... in which i dump paper clips in.

i realise i always turn my sadness into anger and hate. i need anger management. i shall stay this way for now.

and thanks to all my friends for all the encouragement. it helps. really.
it's almost time to get back to normal. can't seemed to be bothered about anything. well, i guess i could never be bothered about alot of things. still.. everything is so F.I.N.E.
fucked up. insecure. neurotic. emotional. just, FINE.

all i can say now is:
fuck it

Music:
Only in the mood to listen to Stone Sour's "Through Glass". and some other angsty metal songs. and i can't be bothered to care about any new Linkin Park song at the moment.